random thoughts...

Book Review: The Canary List

2011-09-07T12:40:00.002-05:00

The Canary List, a novel by Sigmund Brouwer, is a non-stop adrenaline rush read. The chilling and slightly disturbing prologue sets the tone for the book: a young girl finds herself in the midst of child abuse at the hands of a Demon-worshipping priest.

The reader is then introduced to the two main characters, Jaimie Piper, a 12 year old foster child, and Crockett Grey, a divorced, middle-aged teacher who still grieves the loss of his daughter. Crockett’s life is turned completely upside down when a scared and desperate Jaimie seeks his help in the middle of the night.

Although she is only 12 years old, Jaimie is street-smart and a quick judge of character, due in large part to an ability that haunts and confuses her. Yet, little does she know that she is at the center of a plan to keep an evil man from becoming a very powerful political leader: the Pope.

Crockett finds himself plunged into one bizarre moment after the next. He barely has a chance to recover from one blow before he is blasted by the next. Crockett responds as best he can and his greatest saving grace is that, despite his lack of faith, he is a good man trying to do the right thing.

I read this fiction-thriller in almost one sitting. After I got past the creepy demon worship parts, I couldn’t put the book down; I had to find out what happened next. Crockett’s emotional and physical states are palpable and dizzying; frustration, surprise, adrenaline, and exhaustion jump out of the pages. I would recommend this book to anybody looking for a thrilling read.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Book Review: Indelible

2011-07-27T14:32:00.003-05:00

Indelible, a novel by Kristen Heitzmann, is set in the mountain town of Redford, first seen in Indivisible, another novel by the same author.

Indelible relates the story of Natalie Reeve, a talented sculptor with a rare disability, and Trevor MacDaniel, a member of a Search and Rescue team driven by an emotional past.

After the daring rescue of her young nephew, Cody, Natalie Reeve’s life is turned upside down by the strain in her relationship with her brother and sister-in-law, the struggle to have a normal life, and her growing feelings for Trevor MacDaniel, Cody’s rescuer.

Little do the inhabitants of Redford know that a dark figure, who has fixed his twisted attention on Trevor, is making its way to their seemingly idyllic town.

Although this book could have used a few more passes by an editor, it is a compelling story driven by emotion and strong characters.

I did not find it necessary to read Indivisible first, but it would have added extra insight to the many references made in this book.

I would recommend this book to any casual reader looking for a good story.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Short Story: Then he heard the music...

2011-07-26T11:20:00.003-05:00

Comfortable chair, enveloping his aching muscles. How long since he hasn't felt one pain or another?

Hmph.

A faded memory ghosts across his mind. When was the last time he smiled?

*sigh*

Old friends, children, work acquaintances long gone. One by one they slipped into his memory, their final resting place.

Life continues, ambivalent to the pain in his heart, the ache in his step, and the knowledge that someday, maybe soon, he, too, will slip into memory.

He knows he's not alone. Another person occupies the house, in another room, somewhere else.

She, who once had been his wife, his lover, best friend. Now, little more than roommates; occupying the same space and time, yet worlds apart.

When had love turned to appeasement, devotion to apathy?

They ate, they slept, discussed niceties, "Fine weather we have today."

"Yes, quite nice."

He had resigned himself to this existence.

We're too old to change now.

Then he hears the music...

At first faint, it grows in volume as he directs his wandering thoughts. The music takes shape, changes, unearthing old thoughts and emotions in his tired mind and heart.

I know this song.

Walking into the small room, he sees her. No longer able to glide, she sways in the rhythm. Eyes closed, lost in emotion, surrendered to the melody

This is our song.

His heart beat quickens.

She's beautiful.

When had he forgotten this simple truth? Though transformed by age, her beauty remained in the curve of her body, the softness of her hair, the peaceful smile on her face.

How had I missed this?

Opening her eyes, she sees him standing in the doorway. Her feet become still. Breath caught in her throat, she stands silent, watching him in turn.

The brightness in her eyes had not faded over time.

Why did she stop?

He walks forward, more certain with each step.

Standing before her, he raises an upturned palm.

Will you dance with me?

Unsure, yet unable to turn away, she rests her hand in his. The weight is familiar, the touch unchanged.

I know this hand.

Stepping closer still, he wraps his other arm around the small of her back.

As one, they begin to dance.

Each step is measured, confident, remembered.

We still fit together.

Holding her in his arms, he is surprised by all that hasn't changed.

Gazing into his awakening eyes, she is surprised that, once again, she exists in his world.

And what began as a waltz, ends in an embrace.

Time has no meaning in this moment.

They stand together.

Then, for the first time in what seems like ages, they kiss, thankful for the music that brought them back to each other.

Book Review: 31 Days of Drawing Near to God

2011-07-14T16:22:00.003-05:00

Written by Ruth Myers, this book is a 31 Day devotional created to help you draw near to God. It was also previously released as The Satisfied Heart.

I appreciated the fact that she opened up with her back-story. It adds credibility and immediately connects the reader emotionally.

The book doesn’t so much read as a devotional, as it is more like a beloved aunt, mother, or grandmother sharing very personal and very deep life lessons from collected journals.

Each day’s reading is designed to help you learn more about and fall more deeply in love with the God who created us. The readings are filled with relevant scripture, a prayer, and wisdom Myers has learned along the way.

Expect to be moved emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually as you read through this book.

I highly recommend this book.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

Book Review: "The Chasm," by Randy Alcorn

2011-03-09T15:55:00.004-06:00

I love books. Some of my favorite childhood memories include times reading great stories. This is the reason I signed up with Blogging for Books.

I was so excited to get the first book I had picked to review: "The Chasm", by Randy Alcorn.

I'd never before had a chance to read any other works by Alcorn, and, because I'm an avid reader of fiction, I figured this would be a good place to start.

I was SO wrong.

I've heard from many trusted sources about how great Alcorn's non-fiction materials are. However, I found myself sadly disappointed when I began reading this work of fiction.

"The Chasm" is the story of Nick Seagrave, a middle-aged business professional who finds himself in a dark world filled with hidden danger.

Had I known this story was a condensed version of the book "Edge of Eternity," also by Alcorn, I would not have chosen "The Chasm" as my first read.

As a work of fiction, I found the narrative to be rushed and a bit forced. It felt like a roller coaster ride, and not in a fun, exciting way. I was pushed from one monumental moment to the next before I had a chance to properly digest what was going on.

I don't know if it was the author's intention, but the main character, Nick, comes off as rude, arrogant, and, honestly, somewhat of a jerk. Multiple references of others as "ignorant, little people" doesn't easily endear me to Nick or the author.

The story didn't do much for me as an allegory either. The dark hopelessness of life without Christ is painfully obvious and overindulged. Not only has this symbolic story been done before, it's been done with more grace and creativity.

I can usually devour a 700+ page book in less than a week. It took me more than a week to finish this 110 page story. I had to force myself to pick it up and complete it. Had it not been for the requirement of this review, I seriously doubt I would have kept reading after the first few pages.

There is also a Readers Guide at the back of the book that asks questions about each chapter. after forcing myself to finish the book itself, I couldn't bring myself to even consider reading, much less answering, the questions.

All of this to say that, for me, "The Chasm" just didn't deliver.

I would not recommend this book to anybody.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

Truth vs. Lies

2010-09-30T09:31:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I totally stole this quote off of Pete Wilson's blog. Who, in turn, got it from The Kingdom Life, by Dallas Willard.

"Ideas and images are the primary focus of Satan’s efforts to defeat God’s purposes for humankind They form the primary arena of the battle of spiritual formation. When we are subject to Satan’s chosen ideas and images, he can take a holiday. When he undertook to draw Eve away from God, he did not hit her with a stick but with an idea. It was with the idea that God could not be trusted and that she must act on her own to secure her own well-being."

If you go to his blog, you can see the great discussion they're having about what we must believe about the attributes of God in order to follow and honor Him with our lives.

After reading that quote, my heart and mind attached to the last two sentences; where Willard mentions that Eve was drawn away by an idea. Now, the discussion of Original Sin and who's fault it was has been argued one way or another I don't know how many times. What drew me to these words was the underlying theme of TRUTH vs. LIES.

This is something we all struggle with. Everyone struggles with sin, in one form or another. And we all struggle between what we believe to be true and what we believe to be false.

For a good portion of my life I danced between both camps; choosing one over the other as it suited me at the moment. In my heart I knew there was a God, that He loved me and died for me, but I was also set in doing whatever I wanted when I wanted to.

As I grew up, I learned to tell the difference between what was truth and what was a lie, but I still struggled with applying it to my life. Sometimes the lies we let ourselves believe are so powerful, or so ingrained, that they become the "truth" we base our lives upon.

It wasn't until three years ago, when my life became a train-wreck of a mess, that I began to realize just how much the battle between truth and lies was effecting me. Since then I've been more aware of that conflict in myself and others around me.

This was the same issue Adam and Eve dealt with at the beginning of time. Will I trust and believe in what God told me is true, or will I give into a convenient lie?

Will we trust in our Creator and His timing, or will we work out for ourselves what WE think we need when WE decide we need it?

Even after realizing the conflict, and being aware of it, the struggle continues.

"When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."

Ephesians 3:14-21

My prayer for all of us.

KVMV & Chick-fil-A Free Friday Morning Breakfast!

2009-09-04T10:36:00.009-05:00

My church office won a drawing this week for a free Chick-fil-A breakfast courtesy of our local Christian radio network, KVMV. Troy, the guy who gets to drive the KVMV van around (how cool are those things?! /Although none come close to the Oscar Meyer Weiner-mobile) brought us our breakfast and some free goodies from the station. Leslie and I got the mugs. Among the loot were some t-shirts, caps, a water bottle, and a their version of the "going green" grocery bag (we took that, too).

They brought us 20 of these babies: --------------------->

They were delicious. I had two. There are really only 10 of us in the office and some of them didn't come to work today for various reasons. So that meant more for the rest of us! I might take a couple with me for lunch, lol.

So, one of the things that I learned today; Chick-fil-A has jelly. Personally, I like jelly on quite a lot of things: biscuits, toast, meatballs, peanut butter sandwhiches, the Monte Cristo from Bennigans, and other various food things I've yet to think of.

The chicken biscuit was pretty good. The chicken is always awesome at "the Fla" (as one of my friends calls it). The biscuit was different, compared to the standard fast food stuff served at McDonald's and Burger king. It felt, looked and tasted more like a homemade biscuit than any of the other places. Which probably explains why I'm still not sure if I really liked it or not. When you get used to something, it's hard to change, even if the new thing is better than the old.

My only complaint is that everything at "the Fla" is slightly more pricey than at other places. This, of course, means that the product is better (I should hope so, at least), but it also means that it puts more of a dent in my wallet. So, as much as I love Chick-fil-A, I don't think I'll be beating down their doors for breakfast. Especially when Burger King has a sausage biscuit for $0.50! I don't care if they put battery acid in it, it's cheap.

Chick-fil-A is better, though. Another downside is that "the Fla" is closed on Sundays. Which brings me to this video:

I LOVE this video. It's hilarious. Tim Hawkins does some great comedic stuff. His face at about 1:04 is priceless, too.

I love Chick-fil-A and I love it even more when it's FREE!

In other news, Leslie and I are leaving the office early to take our weekend off! We haven't had one since around May. That's a lot of weeks with five services each weekend. I love it, but we definitely need some time off. We'll be driving to McAllen, staying the night, getting some dinner, and hanging around the town all day tomorrow. I'll miss church, the people and the ministry teams.

Until then

Holding up a sign

2009-08-27T12:57:00.003-05:00

This past Sunday, Leslie and I were driving to South Padre Island to visit Zeste, a new gourmet-market place we stumbled on a few weeks ago. They sell these dehydrated vegetables that Leslie fell in love with. Good stuff. We ended up eating there. Good times.

On the way there, we saw a guy on the side of the road holding up a sign that said, “JESUS SAVES.” Brownsville’s a pretty small place, but I’ve actually never seen anyone on the side of the road with a sign that wasn’t either begging for money or asking for donations. But this guy was just standing there, sign held high. I thought it was really cool.

Anyway, the guy with the sign got me thinking that as courageous and as gutsy as it to stand on a busy street corner declaring “JESUS SAVES,” that’s only one part of the picture. I don’t know his name, I don’t know what church he goes to and I don’t know if he has a family. I don’t know if he believes in speaking in tongues, “missional” living or baptizing babies.

I don’t know if he’s a Presbyterian, Baptist, Non-denominational, or “other.” I don’t even know if he goes home and looks at porn, lies to his friends and family, or cheats on his exams. I don’t know anything about him. The only thing I know is that he’s standing on the corner of a busy street with a sign that says, “JESUS SAVES.”

If his sign is all I have to go on for him, he’s off to a fairly good start in my book. But these were my questions, “Who are you when you go home? What’s on the other side of that sign?”

It’s one thing for us to hold up our sign, go on a mission trip, church camp, or church service and then go home and live the rest of “our” lives. So many people get caught up in the actions of being a "good Christian," as if they can hold them up to God and say, “Look. You see that? I did that for You. Please be happy with me now.”

The Bible says:

“What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say
you have faith but don’t show it by your actions?
Can that kind of faith save anyone?”
James 2:14

You can read the rest here.

The area that I live in is very Catholic in culture. However, it’s not a practicing, devout Catholicism. I grew up knowing that if someone said they were Catholic it meant they hardly ever went to mass, except for the "Holy Days" like Easter and Christmas, maybe Lent, and they went to confession every now and then. Other than that, they were no different than any other person who wasn’t a Catholic. They cussed, they fought, they cheated, stole, etc. That stereotype is still very much alive today.

Sadly, this definition of spiritual belief often defines Christians as a whole. Many of us go to church on the weekend, then go right back home to the thing God hates. One of the pastors at my church, Randy Cawlfield, said something along these lines. He said that some people come to church knowing full well that they will cheat on their wives in a few days, that they’ll go home to their live-in boyfriend or girlfriend, or that they’ll cheat on their taxes this year.

Who are you when you go home? When nobody else is watching? When you’re not standing in a room full of people raising their hands in worship? When you’re not in a far off country preaching about God’s love and plan for our lives? When you're not taking theology classes? Who are you?

Do you sit at home and watch TV shows you know are wrong and would never even think of recommending to anybody in church? Do you ignore your family? What are you like?

We hold up signs that say: Christian, Loving husband/wife/son/daughter/parent, PTA member, Small Group Leader, Pastor, Worship Leader, All-around good person. But what’s on the other side of your sign?

As hard as it can be to publicly announce your faith by word or deed, it’s what comes after that is even more demanding: what does the REST of your life say about you?

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy,
to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing
to God – this is your spiritual act of worship."
Romans 12:1

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”
Romans 12:9

Read the whole thing here.

I don’t exclude myself from any of this. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve done all these things and then turned around, woke up every morning, and went to work at my church. I was a hypocrite. Plain and simple.

(Thank You, God, for forgiveness, mercy, love, and second chances.)

This is the question I find myself asking today:

Who are we when no one’s around?

Dinner, song writing and love

2009-08-20T12:32:00.014-05:00

Leslie and I wrote a song yesterday.

In the past month or two I’ve been feeling like our church should start writing music, but I wasn’t sure how or where to start. A few weeks ago, one of the bass players in the band asked, “Have we ever thought of writing our own music for the band?” It was both timely and interesting to me because, as I’d said to my wife, I wanted to ask him to help me with just that.

God moves and speaks; it’s awesome.

We made some plans but they fell through because of unexpected work scheduling. We’re still planning to get together, but not for another week or two, depending on the schedule. I’m really looking forward to it.

The other night I had a really strange dream. I dreamt I was in a home with a family; father, mother, three children, grandma, and me (maybe I was part of the family, maybe I wasn’t, I can’t remember). What stands out to me, other than the grandma sitting on a rare mask the dad was hiding from the mom (don’t ask, I don’t know), there was the oldest girl. She was between 9 and 12 years old. She had really dark hair, dark eyes, thin, pretty pale, and kind of sad.

In my dream, this girl did something that was almost borderline evil, but I don’t remember what exactly, and the parents spanked her. She was devastated, as all children are devastated when they’re corrected. But there was something different, something off about it. Her clothes were suddenly drenched, you could practically see through the layers of fabric. She was wearing a hood-type shirt that she put over her head. I felt like I needed to talk to her, to tell her something. When I went and knelt in front of her, she used the hood to cover her eyes.

Aside from the wet clothes, strange hood and pale face, the thing that stood out the most to me were her eyes; they were white all over. It seemed like her pupils were being covered by this glossy, milky-white substance. You’ve heard the expression, “our eyes are the windows to our soul”? Well it felt like I was watching this girl’s heart and soul detach and pull away from the world. I don’t know what made her think or respond that way. But I remember saying, “You are loved.”

She hid her face from me again in her hood. She tried to pull away from me and the words that couldn’t be true. I made her look at me as I told her again, “You are loved. Don’t you know that you’re loved?” As I spoke those words to her again and again, it seemed as if the color came back to her eyes; that whatever it was that covered her eyes was being overtaken by her return to the world, emotion, and love.

That theme rang in my head all day yesterday. It reminded me of a scripture I half remembered about God’s love. I looked it up on www.biblegateway.com (wonderful site) and I found it:

Jeremiah 31:3
“Long ago the LORD said to Israel:
‘I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.’”

When our dinner plans for yesterday fell through, I sent my wife an e-mail saying that I wanted the both of us to try and write a song. She was pretty excited about it and even started thinking about the theme I wanted to go with, “You are loved.”

Last night, after one of the best meals she’s ever cooked, we sat down with a notepad, pen and guitar and got to writing. I was working on chords while she cooked, so I had some rough melodies laid out. After the first session, which had almost the entire song written, we took a desert break, and then came back and finished off the bridge.

It was the first time Leslie and I started a song together. All in all I’d say it was pretty darn successful. At the end of the night we had an entire song completed (still a work in progress, of course). I think we make a great team.

All that to say, if you’ve ever felt worthless, unloved, unwanted or alone, please know that God loves you, He wants you, He chooses you, and He treasures you more than you know. We’re captured in His love; utterly covered by it.

In Your Eyes

2009-07-23T16:10:00.001-05:00

Directions:
1. Put your iPod, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Meant to Live – Switchfoot

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Gibberish – Relient K
(Funny, my wife would say that’s about right.)

3. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Breathe - Bleach
(Hahaha, them’s some low standards. Leslie has A LOT more thanjust breathing going for her.)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Lifesong – Casting Crowns

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?
Where You Are - FFH

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
All the Same – Big Daddy Weave

(Don’t really know this song…)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Sea of Angels – Plus One

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Thousand Miles – Caedmon’s Call

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Epidermis Girl – Bleach

(LOL)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Landslide – Seven Places

(In a good way ;0) )

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
All I Need – Shawn McDonald

(Too true)

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tree Climber – Stellar Kart

(Hahaha)

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
You’re Not Alone – Storyside: B

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Remembering You – Steven Curtis Chapman

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Already – Rush of Fools

(That’s right, cause we already danced.)

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST
Living for You – Gateway Worship

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Life of Praise – Casting Crowns

(I don’t know about this one.)

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
All… – Hillsong United

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Help Me – C3 Worship

21. SONG THEY WILL PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Forward Motion – Relient K

22. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR ROOMMATE?
[Untitled Track] – Relient K

23. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
In Your Eyes – Storyside: B

You don't have to do it, but it's fun (interesting). Let me know if you decide to do it. I wanna read your answers.

Free Donuts = Free Salvation

2009-06-05T12:17:00.005-05:00

I know how we all LOVE forwarded e-mails. Especially the Christian ones that “convict” us into sending it onto our victims, I mean, friends and family if we “really love Jesus.” I DO NOT send them out. If I do, I take off the last section about needing to send it to 15 people for a miracle to happen in their lives.

That being said, I like reading them. They’re kind of cool. I like the fictional stories. Do I believe they’re ALL real, of course not. Do I think they could possibly have happened? Yes, but probably not. Sorry to burst your bubble of “it’s in an e-mail so it MUST be true.” Jesus still loves me.

So today, my office-mate, Prof, sent me just such an e-mail. Don’t worry, he’s not a perpetuator of Spiritual Spam. I asked him to send it to me. This is how the story goes: Dr. Christianson (real original name, by the way) is in charge of a mandatory, freshmen level, Christian class. Basically, all freshmen in this small “Western United States college” (How can you tell me none of this is made up??? Anyways…) are forced to take this class.

Although Dr. Christianson, who is a Christian himself, does his best to make the class interesting and insightful, most of the students who attend only do so out of obligation. One year, Dr. Christianson gets a single person who WANTS to be in the class, a young man named Steve.

Sensing the opportunity of a Christian collaboration, Dr. Christianson speaks to Steve about a little demonstration he’d like to do in class. Steve agrees and it’s set. They work out the particulars, and everything’s ready.

The day comes and Steve is ready to go. Dr. Christianson has purchased a few dozen delicious donuts and is offering them to the entire class. The only hitch is that Steve must do 10 sit-ups before they receive the donut. Each student gets a donut, regardless of the fact if they want one or not, and Steve does 10 push-ups for each donut/person.

By the end of the demonstration people are upset at the Dr., crying because they can’t help, and Steve is laying on the floor exhausted. Dr. Christianson then turns to his class, and the extra people who happened to wander in for free donuts, and says that this demonstration was done to give them a picture of the sacrifice Jesus made for the world. Some people accepted their donuts as the gift they were while others left their donuts untouched on their desks. Whether or not they choose to accept the gift, the price has been paid. Class dismissed.

While this story is most assuredly made up, it serves as a demonstration in and of itself. The actions taken by the people reflect the actions taken by God and Jesus. They came together and decided on a ransom for our very souls.

I used to be upset about Jesus dying on the cross. I never really understood why, though. I just knew that, when a pastor would speak about the Crucifixion, I would cry bitter tears and there would be this dark, stormy cloud of turmoil spinning around in my head and heart. I could visually imagine Jesus nailed to the cross for me. I could see His hurt and know that I couldn’t do anything about it. By why would it upset me?

After I read that forward, I realized something. Some of the students in the class offered to do their own push-ups for their donuts, but the Dr. wouldn’t let them. He said only Steve could. And, in reality, only Jesus could lay down His life for us because no one else has the power to. I would sit there, years ago, and pray that Jesus wouldn’t be tortured for my sake. Only now do I understand, as I read of the many students who rejected their donuts, that I KNEW Jesus’ sacrifice, the price He paid, the pain He went through, yet I also KNEW that I was going to leave that room and live my life the way I wanted to. I KNEW I was going to sin. I was already making plans to sin before I even got to church. And that killed me. The price had been paid and I knew that I was rejecting it before I could even appreciate it.

Life is different for me now. I do my best to really be the person God wants me to be, instead of just paying lip service and continuing on with “my life.” When I think of Jesus’ sacrifice for me now, tears still come to my eyes, but they’re no longer bitter. Although there are millions of people in the world who daily reject Him, I know that I accept AND, more importantly, appreciate His gift.

“To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy — to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” Jude 1:24-25

I love donuts and I love salvation, especially with chocolate on top…of the donut, of course :oD

As a RANDOM happening, today seems to be the National Donut Day! Krispy Kreme and Dunkin' Donuts are giving away a free donut with the purchase of any beverage (limit one per customer). Go, enjoy a cup of coffee and donut, and maybe think about the other free gifts in our lives that are sitting on our proverbial desks.

Update on my back

2009-03-07T20:46:00.003-06:00

Ok, so the past few days have been kind of a bummer.

My back decided to flip out on me on Wednesday. Stupid thing. I don't think I feed it enough.

Well, anyways, so I saw my Chiropractor (ha, spelled it right my first try!) on Monday, got adjusted and everything seemed fine. I was a little tense after the visit, but everything was okay. Tuesday, my back was still tense. I'm pretty sure that's when I blogged last and asked for some prayer. Wednesday morning is when it hit the fan.

Ok, so I wake up and everything's peachy. I get out of bed with no complaints from my back. I use the restroom, and get down on my knees to wash my hands. Side Note: after my back started giving me problems, I found that it was easier and less painful to get on my knees to wash my hands instead of leaning forward to the ridiculously short sink in our restroom. I finish washing my hands, and guess what, I can't stand up...crap. Not only can I not stand up, but I'm in a whole lot of pain. I call my wife and she helps me limp to the bed, which is, luckily, only a few feet away (thank God we live in an apartment).

We call the church office to let them know I won't be in and that Leslie won't be in for long because she's going to head back and take me to the doctor's office. After much coersion and outbursts of pain, Leslie leaves for the office and I'm left alone to my agony. Seriously, I knew she had to take care of some things for me, but neither of us wanted her to leave me alone. I call the Chiropractor's office and let them know I'll be late and that I'm in a serious amount of pain.

Leslie comes back from the office and helps me get dressed, out of the apartment, and down the stairs (Why God? Why did we have to live on the second floor???). Let me just tell you now, if your back ever starts to spasm, get some serious meds in you, fast. I took a "cocktail," which is a mix of Advil and Tylenol. It didn't do much for me except appease my mind.

We get to the doctor's office and it was like half of my church decided to come in for an adjustment. There were at least 6 people from my church there that morning. They all opted to let me through before them; thanks ladies :)

Can I just give you one tip? When you're going to any doctor's office or hospital of any sort, DON'T WEAR SHORTS. I was not only in pain, I was also freezing!

After laying on a few contraptions that eased my back whilst also causing me more pain, (it was a very perplexing thing for me) my Dr. said that he wanted me to get some meds and an MRI. They scheduled an emergency apointment with a clinic down the road and I was off to find me some meds.

Our general practitioner, the doctor we usually see, wasn't in the office and they wanted us to come in and sit for another ungodly amount of time, so we called some friends to see if they had any leftover pain meds. I know, I know, it's totally wrong to do that. But I was in pain! You'd totally do the same thing, just wait.

We get to the MRI place and find out that they not only have to wait for authorization from my chiropractor, who just happened to leave for a 2 hour lunch, they also have to wait for my insurance to clear. The insurance is under my dad's name and there are all these prerequisites that have to be met, like faxed info from the doctor who saw me who, again, just so happend to step out for a long lunch....yeah.

Long story short, we ended up going to the general practitioner's office to get the meds. We also had to wait till the next day to get the MRI, but but than, thank God, I had my meds (a pain killer and a muscle relaxer).

Thank you God for muscle relaxers.

The next day, I had the MRI then headed over to my chiropractor to deliver the films. My stomach was NOT feeling good and, before we even park in the parking lot at the doc's office, I was out of the car and spewing whatever was in me on the side of the road. Lucky me.

Days later, I'm here in my house, where I've been for the past four days and haven't gone very many places other than the doc's office. Leslie leaves only when she has to, we'd both rather have her stay here. My back is okay. It's still spasming, but the meds help A LOT with the pain.

Leslie's been awesome. She's had to pick up the slack from everything I can't do: taking out the trash, refilling the 5 gallon water jug, lugging the groceries up the stairs, washing all the dishes, and acting as a human walker for me when I want to move from the bed/couch to the restroom. Yeah, she's been amazing.

Please be praying for us. The MRI results should be in Monday. We don't know if it's just my sacrum (spelling? any idea what the heck that is??), or if I have a herniated disc, or what. We'll see Monday. Pray for Leslie, who, like I said, is carrying a lot of extra responsibilities and emotions.

Hopefully it won't take me so long to update next time.

Prayer Request

2009-02-25T15:43:00.003-06:00

Please be praying for me.

My back REALLY hurts. I don't know what happened or how, but over the past few months this pain in my back has been getting worse and worse.

I went to see my chiropractor today and I'm scheduled for another visit on Friday. Hopefully it'll get better before the weekend. Leading worship three day in a row won't be fun if I'm constantly distracted by pains in my lower back.

I'm 24...I'm way too young to be having back problems!!!

Pray for me, please.

Thanks

Fun Stuff for the beginning of the week

2009-02-10T11:13:00.007-06:00

Luke 15

2009-01-28T16:13:00.002-06:00

So Katdish has a post going on about Luke chapter 15.

I read it and started to comment. However, when I was almost done with putting my completed thoughts down in the comment section, I realized what I had on my hands; I had a Bible commentary. She was very specific in what type of comment she wanted back, and a commentary on what we had just read was not among the list. So, sadly, I cut and pasted my thoughts out of the comments box.

But don't fret, gentle and not-so-gentle readers. For I have decided to post my thoughts here, where I'm free to do so at my own discretion.

Muhuhahahaha...

People tell me I have a rather diabolical laugh. (seriously, I laugh like that sometimes).

Anyways, here are my thoughts on Luke chapter 15.

Hey Kat,

I liked your post and challenge.

I read through it a few times. I actually looked it up in different translations to see if I could glean a little more out of their subtle, and not so subtle, changes in word use.

I think the first few verses really sum up the entire post...err...chapter.

God knows our hearts and minds. He, like Santa but MUCH cooler, knows if we're being bad or good; if we're being superficial, self-important, self-righteous hypocrites (harsh, but oh so true sometimes), or if we're being humble and meek with hearts of servants.

Something I find really cool is that, when Jesus taught, there were usually a group of "learned" people who thought themselves so much better than the "common" people. Such is the case here.

Jesus knows what the Pharisees were thinking. So he gave them something better to think about. I also think it's really cool that Jesus gave them, the Pharisees, a little gem, as well as the "regular" people around Him.

He used terms that people could grasp quickly. Shepherds know and love their animals. Their lives depend on their livestock. Of course a shepherd will rejoice when they've found that one lost sheep. Jesus then compares it to the joy in Heaven when someone who is "lost in sin" repents and gives their life to God. In the NLT it says there is more joy over a repentant sinner than for someone who has never strayed away, so I have to assume that He's talking about people who love God and live for Him already.

Jesus moves onto the next area people readily connect with, their money. This is simple math. 10 - 1 = 9, which is one less than ten. Some translations go on to say that one of those silver coins equaled a WHOLE DAY of wages. I don't care who you are or what you do for a living, nobody wants to lose a whole day of pay if they already worked for it. Imagine the relief associated with that. Jesus was saying the same relief, if not more, is felt in Heaven when someone is saved. The hard work done by God, Jesus, the angels, and other people is fulfilled when someone comes to Christ for the first time.

Then He finally hits home His whole point with the relational/emotional part. Imagine the loss of a loved one to the world. After spending your life teaching, encouraging, and training your child, they leave, they turn on you, they spit in your face and say, "My way is better." Ouch. Now, think of the shame, guilt, and fear if you are that lost person coming back to your family after realizing how stupid you were. Then add in the emotions and perspectives of the Father and brother. That's a lot of emotional baggage there.

The guilt and shame of the prodigal, the relief and love of the Father, and the confusion and bitterness of the brother are all emotions we can relate to.

Then and now "sinners" don't expect acceptance and love when they repent and apologize. They expect bitterness, anger, and punishment. But the grace shown by God and His people overwhelm them.

The Father is overjoyed to have His son back, His child, His beloved.

The brother, is a different matter. He got caught up in a little pity party of woe-is-me, maybe I should have sinned too. He doesn't realize how good he has it.

He thinks, I've been here this whole time and you've never celebrated me, and now he (the prodigal) comes back after blowing his money and you throw the biggest pachanga you can in such a short notice.

To this, the Father reminds him that he is no less loved. Quite the opposite, actually. He is just as much an owner of the land as his Father.

The way I see it, I believe the Father means to say that he never threw so much as a fajita barbecue for him because he never asked. And why didn't he ask? Probably because He never understood that when the inheritance was given out, he came into ownership of his part. Everything he could want lay before him. But, possibly blinded by his negativity toward his brother, he never realized this. I don't know for sure.

What it tells me, I think, is that I shouldn't get caught up in my own self-righteousness. I need to remember that people who are forgiven much are that much more thankful for what they've undeservedly received. I should be happy for them, rejoicing in the fact that they now have a home in Heaven, not bitter because I'm jealous that they got to live the so-called "good" life and NOW they're coming to God.

I need to be reminded, like the son that stayed at home, that I am a child of God, and everything He has to offer will be laid out for me if only I ask (and it lies within His will).

Sorry if I posted a novel, but that was my though progression, and you did ask for that, right? I hope this wasn't a Bible commentary...

Oh wait, it is. Dangitt.

Thanks for inspiring this post Katdish.

Ow

2009-01-23T14:53:00.009-06:00

I hurt.

Don’t worry, it’s not really a “bad” kind of hurt. I hurt because my wife and I went back to the gym two days ago after MONTHS of delinquency.

What happened was, last year, we both got memberships at Gold’s Gym. I got mine first and then Leslie decided she wanted to get one too. This was quite a few months before we got engaged. I was working at another job at the time and had to get up ridiculously early in order to be at work by 8:30am. Since I was used to getting up that early, I decided to go to the gym in the morning. This routine was pretty much hit or miss. I made it just about as much as I didn’t. It got worse the later I started getting to sleep.

Now fast forward to when we got engaged. You’d think we’d be in the gym even more because of the new extracurricular activities we’d be able to engage in just a little down the line. Instead, we stopped going to the gym altogether. We were spending more and more time together, talking on the phone later, and getting less and less sleep, especially as we started planning the wedding and whatnot.

Now it’s 3 ½ months after the wedding and this is the third week since we decided to go back to the gym. This is actually our first time we’ve been back to the gym since our decision. Third time is a charm, I guess. We tried, fruitlessly, to wake up early in the morning and go before work. Yeah, that didn’t work out. So now we’re trying to go right after work on Monday’s, Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s.

Pray for us!

Ok, so we get to the gym, half an hour after work, and it’s pretty much packed; ugh. We find some open treadmills and start warming up. Leslie decides she wants to take a class, so she only jogs for a few minutes and then leaves when the class starts up. I stay on the treadmill and, being the exercise genius that I am, decide to run steady for 30 minutes. I don’t remember how many miles I went. I don’t remember what my average heart rate was. I don’t even remember what speed I was going at for most of the time. All I really remember is that I stared at the clock forever, willing it to go faster, and that, once I got off the blasted thing, I felt like the Bionic Man; kind of disorienting to walk on regular, non-moving ground after you get off a treadmill. There should be a sign or disclaimer or something! I’m just saying.

Anyways, so then I did some weights until Leslie got out of her class. We went home, made some food, watched the rest of American Idol, and went to sleep. Normal.

Two days later, I’ve developed a hatred for stairs, my muscles ache, I don’t know if I’ll be able to play guitar properly tonight, and I’m even more sore than I was yesterday.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually like being sore. It reminds me that I’ve been working out my muscles and that I’ve been active and that I’m still alive. Those are all very good things. What I don’t like is being so sore that I feel like I can’t lift my arms too high in fear of dropping whatever it is I’m holding in my hands. You know?

So this experience got me thinking of heaven a little bit. Weird, I know. How does exercise make one think of Heaven?

"And this reminds me rather of our Lord Jesus!" (300 pts. to whomever gets this reference first)

Ok, seriously, now. So, I’m going about my day, thinking about how sore I am, and then I wonder, “Will there be exercise in Heaven???” I mean, because we’re all going to be perfect when we get to Heaven, right? So, will we NEED to exercise when we get there? Will there be a local gym where all of us can go to relieve our spiritual stress? This also made me wonder what exactly God’s definition of perfect is. I’m fairly certain God has a completely different definition for perfect than we do. I mean, come on, He not only invented the word, but He also just so happens to BE perfect.

So yeah, what do you think about gyms in Heaven? Eric Clapton tells us there’ll be no tears in Heaven. What do you think of that? Will there be crying in Heaven?

Side note: I LOVE Whataburger (pronounced What-a-burger) ketchup. The burgers are great, too. If you haven’t had it, you’d better get in your car and start driving to the nearest one. I once e-mailed them and asked if I could purchase their ketchup in a larger sized container, but, alas, they do not market this wonderful product yet. I need to start a petition…

If there ARE gyms in Heaven, I'm sure they'll have weights made out of gold.

Barbecue, Banana Pudding and Scrabble

2009-01-18T20:38:00.007-06:00

After church today, Leslie and I came over to my parent's house. Okay, first off, let me just say that this weekend has been the most nervous times for me in a long while.

I'm the intern worship leader at my church, and, because of circumstances that have cropped up, I've had to lead more often than I'm used to on the actual weekend. I usually only need to lead the Friday night Recovery band. The times I have to do the whole weekend, Friday, Saturday (two services) and Sunday (another two services), I'm usually wiped out in a coma by the time I get home. This weekend is the third weekend in a row, so far. But that's not the reason I was so nervous. I was nervous because I was co-leading with our Small Groups Pastor (who sings and play guitar as well), we were adding lots of different elements to the "usual" set, and because I was going to be singing a song that's rather high at one pivotal point.

It went really well, by the way. The first song, A Thousand Hallelujahs, by Mark Roach, was good. That was the one that made me the most nervous (because of the high notes at the end of the bridge). Then we did No One Like You, by The David Crowder Band. That was the first time we've done that song with the "big" church. We used to do it a long time ago when I was with the High School Band, but I think it went over really well with the adults (the band really liked it too). Then we sat the people down, Randy (the co-leader guy) started playing Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone), by Chris Tomlin, and I read a scripture lead in. That was kind of nerve wrecking also. I'm not really used to speaking in front of people. Ask me to sing for hundreds of people and I'm fine. Ask me to say something and I get rather anxious. Randy led that song by himself because it's way too high for me to sing well. But we switched it up at the end and I sang the last verse. It was awesome, if I don't say so myself. I sang it real soft and smooth. It was cool. Then we did Here I Am to Worship with Call, by Hillsong. That went really nice too. Somebody came up to pray, and then we ended with Trading My Sorrows, by Darrell Evans (I think).

All in all, it was a really great set. It went over well with the church, the band liked it, I had fun, and it glorified God. That equals a great set in my book.

Okay, back to the original reason for this post...

Barbecue, banana pudding, and Scrabble.

My brother, who some of you know was stabbed recently, is still here at my parent's house, recuperating. I called him up after church to see what he was up to and he said they were gonna watch the game and barbecue. Leslie and I were so in; we were starving! We met my mom at the store, picked up some grub, and headed over. We had fajitas, sausages, chicken, Mexican rice, guacamole, ranch style beans with bacon and fajitas mixed in, and other assorted snacks. It was beautimous! My stomach was thankful. I also made some of my famous banana pudding. It's super easy to make, so there's really nothing all that special about it, but everyone fawns all over it when I make it (oddly enough for something so simple), so I make it as often as I can ;)

Then we brought out the Scrabble board Leslie gave me for Christmas. It's come in handy. We played it with my brother when he was in the hospital and he's been looking forward to a rematch since then. My mom also wanted to play because she skipped out when she had the chance. Some of my extended family also came over to watch the game. Leslie's been worried that they haven't really warmed up to her yet, so this has given us a really good chance to open up with them a little bit.

We're still here and having fun. Scrabble is awesome.

Check in with ya'll later.

Below is a picture taken from their backyard by my dad. It's hard to believe this is South Texas. It looks like a scene out of Twilight, set in Forks, WA. See the movie, it's good. Read the books, they're better.

Grace

2009-01-15T14:05:00.002-06:00

I just heard a very interesting description of grace.

As Christians, we know that grace is a free, undeserved gift given to us by God. We have all, at one time or another, messed up, failed, made a mistake, or simply chosen to do something we knew was wrong. Yet, after we ask forgiveness from God (with right motives and sincere regret), we find that His love, mercy, and grace are there for us. For some reason, that’s always surprising to us. It shouldn’t be. We should know God is perfectly just, infinitely loving and merciful. God even takes it a step further and helps make us better for our mistakes.

Grace is also something that can come from God through other people. Some people, God bless them, have a wonderful capacity for grace, while others, bless their hearts, simply don’t. We were all made differently. One man, who has a great capacity for grace, likened it to something that is still blowing my mind.

Imagine this: A suicide bomber comes into your home while your entire family is in it and explodes. You and your family survive, but the man is severely wounded. Grace is being able to go to that man, help him care for his wounds, and, although you’re ticked off at him for trying to kill your family, tell him you love and forgive him.

!!!

Imagine what that man had to go through in order to make the decision to be a suicide bomber. Think about the subtle choices and decisions that had to be made before he took that step. Imagine how brainwashed he would have to be. How completely fooled and duped. And, although he made the final choice to bomb your house and the consequences are on him, imagine there was an even more sinister and diabolical force leading him.

That is what it’s like in our world. We know that Satan is real, hates us, and wants to destroy us. We’ve all heard his lies, seen his work, and experienced sin in one way or another. Those of us who have seriously messed up and returned to God can understand the depth of thankfulness and completely heartbreaking love the suicide bomber felt when that person forgave him and loved him through his mess.

We’re all different. We all have a certain capacity for one thing or another. But we’re all given the choice to love people with God’s love. It’s so easy to react, to get caught up in our feelings. Those feelings are good. They let us know we were hurt, that a line was crossed, and that we have been wronged. But God wants us to respond in love. He tells us that in the same way He forgave us, so we should forgive others. It’s definitely a lot harder to do that than it is to lash out.

There Will Be a Day

2009-01-14T14:22:00.004-06:00

I have the awesome, wonderful privilege to work in my church office. I’m the Intern Worship Leader (this year, at least). I’ve been an un-paid volunteer for a year, part-time paid volunteer for another year, and the assistant to the Music Director for a few months. It’s been fun. I love being able to work full-time for the church. I’ve worked other jobs in between and this is my favorite.

Because I work with the music, I get to be included in the weekly “message meeting” with the Senior Pastor (or whoever’s speaking that weekend) and other people. It’s the Creative Team meeting, so to speak. We talk about the previous weekend, try to figure out God’s direction for this next weekend, etc. It’s a lot of fun. It’s in these meetings that I sometimes get really great insight from the other people involved. I like being a part of that. It makes me think, it stretches me, and it grows me.

FYI, I do sort of the same thing with blogs. I’ll read other blogs to see what’s going on in people’s lives because I just like knowing stuff about people. But I also do it because sometimes those blogs inspire me, teach me something, stretch my mind, or cause me to see things in a new light. I then turn around and use those little gems of wisdom in the Creative Team meeting. I’m not plagiarizing, I promise. I’m simply taking the experience I had and sharing it with others…right? Right.

For instance, yesterday, as I read Stacy From Louisville’s blog, it moved me. It also gave me a scripture reference, Matthew 25:34-40, and we all know that reading the Bible in other people’s blogs is almost as good as reading it from an actual Bible. It made me think of how I think, or don’t think for that matter, of the people outside my circle, outside my little bubble I call my world. So many times I’ve set them aside. I say “hi” and smile and nod as I walk to my apartment without stopping to see how their day was. I tell myself, some people don’t like to be “interrogated. I don’t want to invade someone’s privacy.” But really, I don’t want to put myself out there like that; it scares me.

Previously, Matt and Joanna also both talked about reading hard things in the scriptures. At first, in only reading what Matt wrote, I took from what he said as much as I could. I didn’t honestly think I’d ever AVOIDED scripture before. But then I read Joanna’s blog about it. She said much the same thing but in a way that made it a bit more clear for me. I immediately thought of quite a few verses in Proverbs that irked me.

Then, in the meeting yesterday, my pastor had this verse up on his computer screen:

Proverbs 1:20-33 (The Message)
Lady Wisdom goes out in the street and shouts. At the town center she makes her speech. In the middle of the traffic she takes her stand. At the busiest corner she calls out:

"Simpletons! How long will you wallow in ignorance? Cynics! How long will you feed your cynicism? Idiots! How long will you refuse to learn? About face! I can revise your life. Look, I'm ready to pour out my spirit on you; I'm ready to tell you all I know. As it is, I've called, but you've turned a deaf ear; I've reached out to you, but you've ignored me.

"Since you laugh at my counsel and make a joke of my advice, how can I take you seriously? I'll turn the tables and joke about your troubles! What if the roof falls in, and your whole life goes to pieces? What if catastrophe strikes and there's nothing to show for your life but rubble and ashes? You'll need me then. You'll call for me, but don't expect an answer. No matter how hard you look, you won't find me.

"Because you hated Knowledge and had nothing to do with the Fear-of-God, because you wouldn't take my advice and brushed aside all my offers to train you, well, you've made your bed—now lie in it; you wanted your own way—now, how do you like it? Don't you see what happens, you simpletons, you idiots? Carelessness kills; complacency is murder. First pay attention to me, and then relax. Now you can take it easy—you're in good hands."

Okay, he didn’t have the WHOLE section up there, but it was way too good to not put it in. That caught me off guard. Go back and read the third paragraph. In the midst of His call, God tells us that there will be a time when He will stop calling, when he will stop pursuing; a time when He will no longer listen for your voice. That scared me. I immediately remembered the people Stacy was talking about. I then thought of my family, friends, and other people I know who aren’t saved. It almost broke my heart to think of this. I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t have much time to dwell on this though; we were in the middle of a meeting, you know.

But it made me think, there will be a day for many things in this life. A day for tears, joy, fear, comfort, love, hate, and the list goes on. There will be a day when God’s infinite amount of love and mercy is cut off from you. The Bible talks about people who harden their hearts so much to God that He finally gives them over to their wicked desires.

Personally, I’d like to believe that nobody is beyond saving. I’d love to think that there are people out there that, no matter how far gone, God can change their hearts. But it’s not true. There are people who have heard God’s voice, who have heard His call, but they’ve hardened their hearts, closed their minds, and shouted so loud and so long that God’s heart is turned from them. People do this all the time. If all someone did all day was go against everything I said, I’d imagine I’d be pretty upset by the end of the day. But God, who’s infinitely more patient and gracious than I am, how long does that take before God, in His perfect justice, turns and leaves the person be?

When I read that verse, it was then my heart cried for those people and for their potential to be cut off from God. It makes me want to be braver, more compassionate and loving.

Good and Evil

2009-01-07T11:24:00.003-06:00

We’re all born with huge capacities for good and evil. We all have both.

We all have hatred, adultery, lust, etc. in our hearts. It sits, simmers, and waits to be released. It plants itself and grows as life changes around us.

Yet we also have such great goodness in us. People love and care for a child they know may not live to see the next day. People fall in love. Beautiful sonnets, paintings, works of art, songs, and stories are written about people in love. Mercy and grace can be shown to even the most lowly, the most undeserving.

But how can we judge what’s good, great, and awesome without having the bad, flawed, and horrible to balance it with?

Do you know what I mean? What I’m trying to say?

I don’t, in any way, shape or form, condone evil. I hate oppression, bigotry, racism, and acts of malice. Would evil still exist without human beings? I’ve wondered this before. If the human race ceased to exist on this planet, would evil still be a tangible thing? Is it evil for a lion to kill the weak and helpless? Is it evil for any animal to take advantage of another animal? Honestly, I don’t think so.

I think they’re simply doing what they were designed to do: live. It’s not like they can go to the local supermarket and pick up a Sushi Special #9 for dinner. They can’t till the soil and grow their own produce either.

Someone once said that we should expect the world to be evil. That we shouldn’t be in shock when something tragic takes place. It is simply the world doing what it’s designed to do: sin.

Sin is alive and well in all of our hearts. Wickedness is always one choice away. How many of us have ever considered an act of evil? I have. But, being the normally sane people that we are, we stop ourselves. We don’t follow through with them. Why?

It’s because we, as human beings, have the capability of choosing between good and evil. We have the intrinsic right to choose for ourselves the decisions we make. We define good, evil, love, hate. We define right and wrong. These definitions are the foundation on which we make our choices. Is it bad if I eat this piece of chocolate? Is it good if I eat this vegetable? Is this right or wrong?

Beyond this, we have the choice to choose God. God offers a life of purpose beyond simply existing on this planet. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes it questions our comfort, motives, and decisions. But when your choices are between what the world offers and what God offers, I want to choose God.

“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD”
Joshua 24:15

Once you make the decision for Christ, there are some things you can’t pick and choose.

“You can't pick and choose in these things, specializing in keeping one or two things in God's law and ignoring others. The same God who said, ‘Don't commit adultery,’ also said, ‘Don't murder.’ If you don't commit adultery but go ahead and murder, do you think your non-adultery will cancel out your murder? No, you're a murderer, period.”
James 2:8-11

I don’t always make the best choices. I can be a rude, insensitive jerk. But I’ve made my ultimate decision. I’m going to follow God. I’m going to try to be a better example, a better reflection of who He is.

I’ve made my decision. Have you?

The Don't Song

2009-01-06T10:25:00.001-06:00

I was looking at some Christian videos online and stumbled across this one again. I've seen it before, but I thought it might be good to post it. Check out the hair.

The Don't Song

Season Craziness

2009-01-02T14:37:00.005-06:00

Okay world, so this is what's been happening with me over the past two weeks.

Have I been focusing my ADD and making cool crafts and awesome ways to hold partner-less socks? No.

Have I been recapping the favorite moments of the previous year? No.

Have I been Christmas shopping at 11pm two days before Christmas? Well, yes, actually, but it wasn't MY Christmas shopping.

The festivities leading up to Christmas were awesome. Friends and family gathered around for a game of White Elephant. I was all about gift wrapping a collection of massage oils, but my wife thought it might be a bit inappropriate, children were invited. The next time there's an adult only White Elephant party, you know what's going in there. I later told this to the pastor who held the party. Although he loved the idea, his face also turned bright red. I'm thinking it's a win-win situation for next Christmas.

Leslie and I had Christmas Adam steaks; very good. Christmas Adam = Christmas Eve eve. Unfortunately I was bitten by the “clean bug” and insisted on cleaning out the black hole of a spare room in our apartment. She cooked, I cleaned. At least the room was recognizable after I was done.

We spent Christmas Eve with our friends, the Moreno’s and their baby. We ate junk food, played Wii sports, and opened presents. Baby Ricky G. got to open his gifts at 9pm. Apparently babies eat, live, and breathe on a schedule (I’ll have to remember that for when my wife and I start to procreate). The adults barely made it to 11:30pm before we opened our presents. I think it was a mixture of impatience and sleepiness.

Christmas Day was spent with our separate families. We went to Leslie’s fam first. Tamales, Mexican rice and beans, and some more gifts = a great lunch. Leslie told her family that she was diagnosed with diabetes type 2 (it runs on both sides of her family). Most of the people there were card carrying members and welcomed her to the club.

Then we went to my family’s party. More food, more presents, and singing = two very tired newlyweds.

We came home and fell asleep. Very uneventful…until my younger brother calls me at 2am to freak out about losing his new camera at the beach. I did my best to calm him down and get him to go home. I prayed for him and went back to sleep. Around 6am, I get a text from him saying there had been some sort of accident. I didn’t think much of it, things of that sort happen with my family. I wake up, Leslie leaves for work, and I’m bumming around the house when Adam calls again and lets me know my older brother, Abel, is in the hospital. Apparently he had accidentally been stabbed earlier that morning. Stabbed. Yes, stabbed. I don’t know how someone is “accidentally” stabbed, but if it can happen in this world, it can happen to my family. We spent the next few days figuring out what had happened and visiting my brother in the hospital.

A week later, Abel is still in the hospital, my younger brother is still in town, my parents are back to normal, we spent New Year's Eve/Day in a hospital room, and Leslie and I have never had such a crazy Christmas/New Year season in our lives. Welcome to the family, Leslie!

I’ll update more later.

Ladies, if you're looking for a few more details, visit my wife's blog.

Cool story

2008-11-26T09:42:00.002-06:00

So there's this new family coming to my church. They might've been coming for a while, I just might not have noticed? Anyway, the whole family is pretty cool. The dad, RW2, is a general contractor and owns his own business, I don't know if the mom works, and the kid, RW3, is in high school.

Long story shorter, I invited the kid to join the student band after I found out he could play the guitar. Since I play guitar, I told him I could help him out learning the songs. We met a couple of times and he played in the band.

Yesterday, RW2 was going to shoot a video for the church this weekend. I went along with the house techie to help out. He greeted me and told me how thankful he was for the positive influence I was making in RW3's life. I was kind of like, "Ok, thanks." I mean, I could of said it was a privilege and all, because it is. I used to be in the high school ministry and I loved it. But at that moment, I was kind of surprised. I couldn't think of a decent enough reply except for to nod and smile.

We got on the roof, shot the video, and were kind of looking around and stuff, and then RW2 told us this story. It was about his grandpa. He said that his grandpa grew up with parents who didn't go to church. They were normal people with normal problems. When the grandpa was 13, he and some friends decided it would be fun to break into a local warehouse. Unfortunately for them, the town gossip lived close by, heard/saw them breaking in and called the owner of the warehouse. The owner and his 19 yearold son (Sonny-this isn't his name) went over and snuck into the building. They could hear the kids roaming around, spray painting, and having fun playing hide and seek. The owner and son split up and went looking for kids. The grandpa, unaware that other people were now there, ran around a corner right into the owner's son. The son grabbed him and didn't let go. The kid screamed and flailed, but couldn't get out. His screams alerted his friends and he was the only one who was caught. The owner took the kid home and told his parents that they could press charges, send him to jail, charge him for damages, etc. , but, if they agreed, he could work off the damages at the warehouse every day after school.

When the grandpa met Sonny at the warehouse the first day, Sonny told him led him down to the basement. Halfway down the steps Sonny stopped and sat on the side wall. The grandpa sat on the other side and watched as Sonny took out a plank of wood, some fish hooks, thread, and bagan to make flies (for fly fishing). The grandpa was, understandably, perplexed. He thought that he was going to be working, not watching as this young man tied flies. Every day Sonny taught him about flies. Eventually, the grandpa would begin to tie flies while Sonny read scripture to him.

RW2 told me that his grandpa became a Christian because of what Sonny did. Because of that, RW2's dad was a Christian, and so on and so forth all the way down to now (4 generations). He said he told me that story because he wanted me to know how much one person's influence can be.

Yet again, I didn't know what to say. I can only hope that I've made those kinds of connections, that kind of impact with the people I've come into close contact with in the past few years of ministry.

If it was the last time...

2008-11-21T09:39:00.004-06:00

I was reading Worship Leader Magazine yesterday and came across an article by Gordon MacDonald. It was really good.

In the article he talked about how one conversation transformed how he viewed the Church, what people from their 20's, 30's, to over 70's feel, think, fear, and hope and how, as worship leaders/pastors we have the opportunity to lead them and speak into their hearts. It was all very insightful and eye opening.

But the last thing he spoke of impacted me the most. He told the story of the German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

"Bonhoeffer taught at Union Seminary in New York in the mid-1930s when Hitler came to power, and when things began to boil in Europe, Bonhoeffer made a very deliberate, strategic decision to return to Germany and resume his pastoral responsibilities in the German church."

This man returned home to a war zone. Although he was German and had no fear of imprisonment due to his race, his life was still in danger. He knew and understood God's view about the war. His American friends begged him not to return. They knew the message he was going to take to his people. Three years later the SS arrested him under the accusation that he was involved in the plot to assassinate Hitler. A few days before he died, his fellow prisoners asked him to lead them in worship. After some reluctance, he agreed to. He led some hymns, read from the Bible, and gave a message of hope from Isaiah.

Wow.

That's beyond me. I can't even come up with the right words to describe the kind of impact that makes in my heart.

MacDonald left the readers with these questions:

"...if you knew you and the people you were going to lead in worship were going to die within days, what songs would you sing? What presentation would you make? What tone of voice would you use to speak into their hearts and minds? What would be the content of your prayers? And if you were invited to preach from the Bible, what text would you select? How would you nail it home into their souls? And what kind of benediction would you offer to people that on this side of time and space you would never see again?"

Wow, again.

Seriously, tears came to my eyes when I thought about this man leading worship for a group of people who were all facing imminent death. And then to think about what I would do if I was in the same situation. Crazy.

Honestly, I don't know if I could hack it. I've led some pretty intense worship times. Intense in the fact that I could feel the presence of God in the room so close I could reach out and touch Him. In those times I've had to stop singing because the tears and emotions just wouldn't let me continue. I imagine that, if I were to lead worship for a group of people days away from their deaths, that it would be like one of those times. The fact that we're all days, hours and minutes away from meeting our Maker face to face would be so profound, how could we help but to be completely abandoned in worship?

It's hard to think of the songs I'd sing, of the words I'd say, of the scripture I'd read.

I'd sing Home, by Hillsong United. "Into Your courts I run with praises flowing from my heart...Home is Heaven, one day, Lord I will live in Your courts, You'll find me in worship at feet. Hide me now, in the shadow of Your wings, where I will be home." My church first did that song after one of my students from the High School ministry died in a car wreck.

No Sweeter Name, by Gateway Worship. "You are the life to my heart and my soul. You are the light to the darkness around me. You are the hope to the hopeless and broken. You are the only truth and the way."

You Never Let Go, by Matt and Beth Redman. "Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Your perfect love is casting out fear. Even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life. I won't turn back I know You are near."

I don't know if I'd make it through the songs instrumentally, much less vocally. I don't know. But I would definitely thank God for the life He entrusted me with, hoping that I made an impact on someone, somewhere. That my life would leave a legacy of love and kindness. That the wrongs I made were made right and perfected by God. That I didn't waste the time He'd given me. I imagine I'd be a little excited also. Nothing morbid. I just think I'd know that, when I closed my eyes for the last time, the next thing I'd be seeing is Jesus' face. I'd finally meet my Savior and God face to face. That's exciting no matter what way you go.

My message wouldn't be one of fear, despairation and hopelesness. I'd want it to be filled with love, strength, and hope. Filled with the knowledge that God loves us and is calling us home.

How would you answer those questions?

Twilight the Movie

2008-11-20T14:03:00.004-06:00

Twilight is upon us!!!

Ok, so some of you aren't as excited as I am about the movie Twilight adapted from the vampire series by Stephanie Meyers. Too bad.

I love it.

My wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, started reading Twilight earlier this year. I love fantasy books. Give me the Force, vampires, werewolves, magic, sci-fi, horror, drama, dragons, Tolkien-esque material and I'll eat it up. So, when Leslie, my then-girlfriend-wife said she couldn't stop reading and laughing because the characters reminded her so much of us, I was, of course, interested in getting my hands on it.

The book is great. I started reading and immediately thought to myself, "So is this what goes on in her head when...???" It was as if Stephanie Meyers studied our relationship and wrote it down on paper. Bella, the heroine, was shy but strong, insightful, clumsy, and caring; much like my wife. Edward, the hero, was intelligent, good looking, could read people's minds, and immortal. Okay, so I'm not a whole lot like Edward in that sense of the description, but I have been known to finish people's sentences before they do. It's fun.

As Edward and Bella meet and fall in love, Leslie and I couldn't help but see the common aspects of their relationship and ours. Questions Bella would ask, feelings she would experience, were all mirrored in Leslie. And vice-versa for Edward and I. I'm sure a lot of it can be chalked up to the fact that people will go through similar feelings, emotions, etc. when falling in love.

It was definitely a learning experience for me. It was like I had a direct line into Leslie's mind and heart.

I learned that clumsy people are born clumsy. You cannot learn to be clumsy. You cannot train to be clumsy. It is a talent that is bestowed upon you from birth. I learned that women operate on an entirely different wavelength than men (okay, so I knew that before, but it was a fresh reminder).

I love reading, it's one of my most favorite things to do. Reading a story that not only seemed like my life at the time, but had viampires, special powers, AND werewolves in it made these books that much cooler to me.

Have you read the Twilight Series yet?

(I didn't ruin anything, I promise)

The blog that almost wasn't

2008-11-13T11:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, so as I was reading over all the people's blogs I've followed, I came to the conclusion that I needed to finally post an actual blog of my own.

Naturally, I began to think of something(s) I could talk about. I didn't know if I wanted to post something deep and serious or light and funny, or weird and strange, or something in between. This is what I came up with.

How this blog almost wasn't:

I decided that I would blog after I walked over to the church building for my guitar and some CD's. (FYI: I work for my church as an intern worship leader). So I left the office, walked across the street, got my guitar and was about to leave the building when I went to turn the light off. Thanks to my absentmindedness or the fact that I try to rush through things, I tried to flip the light switch off without looking at it. This resulted in a few failed attempts. I didn't actually get the light off until I looked back at the switch to find out where it was, a good two inched from my blind, groping fingers. This got me thinking, I need to keep my eyes on the prize, so to speak. It reminded me of the many, many times I've attempted something, spiritual or otherwise, and halfway through the project I'm looking at something else, getting distracted, or losing focus. As I was thinking of a few instances to relate to you, the world at large, the thought occurred to me, you don't know anything about me, really.

I then began thinking of the possible, allowable things I would want to tell you about me: how I work at the church, I'm 24, live in Brownsville, TX, I'm recently married, my wife is awesome and feeds me wonderfully awesome food. All good things you might not have wanted to know, but would have read anyways.

This train of thought led me to wonder, how many times do I actually tell my wife she's wonderful and amazing? I have this problem: compliments don't come easily to me. I blame my father, in part; he has the same problem. Because of this, I make it a point to have something nice to say (I of course always want to mean it, sometimes I don't, is that bad?).

Anyways, so as I thought of this new idea for a post, it hit me, we're so A.D.D. I've never considered myself truly A.D.D. Sure I get distracted sometimes and can't focus, but I'm still able to function regularly. This thought then made me wonder how many people around the world, specifically Americans with our media saturated lives, struggle with semi-A.D.D.

We're all so used to camera angles that only last 30 second, music that ends in 3 minutes, and hundreds of radio stations, TV channels, and the web to keep our attentions. It was a pretty exhausting thought process.

Images flashed through my mind with all these thoughts; my guitar, the light switch, my life, my wife, my bible was in there somewhere, food my wife has made recently, clips of Heroes, Eli Stone, Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty, you get the picture.

So I sat back down on my computer and decided that, instead of posting about one of these topics in any depth, I'd settle for giving you a glimpse of how my mind works sometimes. Hope you had fun.

Do you ever have thoughts like that? How does your brain function?

first

2008-11-07T12:14:00.000-06:00

This is my first blog on here.

I actually only got it so I could subscribe to other people's hilarious blogs I've found on here.

I hope that's a good enough reason to have something like this. I'd hate to be kicked out of the "blogger" community because I didn't aspire to write actual stuff on here from the very beginning...